Match Reports 2017

Daniel Paul’s Magic

The 3^rd XI headed east to take on Wanborough on a pleasantly warm and windless afternoon.  The wicket looked an honest one (and so it proved), while the outfield was expansive with some of the longest boundaries we’d experienced this season – indeed, only 9 fours and one 6 were struck in the entire match.  Our skipper was absent for the day, so the toss was lost by your correspondent and the opposition decided to bat.

Dicko and our Irish magician (going by the clever pseudonym of Daniel Paul) opened up and immediately throttled any run-scoring pretensions of the Wanborough openers.  However, after 4 overs, the Lancashire ‘locomotive’ decided to save himself for the dessert course (see below), giving way to the welcome return of Hussein.  In tandem with Daniel, the screw was further tightened and it wasn’t long before Eire claimed the first wicket with a rather good ball.  We’d seen that the oppo number 3 could bat in the home fixture earlier in the season, but no-one, especially the poor batsman, expected his first ball to be his last.  I’m not sure if there’s a Gaelic word for ‘jaffa’ but there’s no better way to keep “Irish eyes smiling” than a batter playing down middle-and-leg, and then seeing off-and-middle splattered all over the place.  Bamboozled, he was, and whooping were we.

While Wanborough’s number 1 proved obdurate, Hussein and Daniel, in particular, continued to bowl more unplayable balls in two extremely frugal spells.  Hussein was super unlucky not to take at least one wicket (9-2-16-0) but he did hold a smart catch to give Daniel a deserved third (9-2-16-3) in what was by far his best spell of bowling this season.  Chris Ruddell took over from the magician keen to keep up his challenge for the 2017 best bowler prize.  Things looked up quite quickly in that regard when Wanborough’s number 5 pushed a gentle, thigh-high catch to Dicko at short mid-on.  However, instead of snaffling this easiest of chances, our Man of Preston instead allowed the ball to pass unmolested into his generous midriff while at the same time falling to his knees and sort of half rolling over.  The ball, naturally, obeyed the pull of gravity, travelling around the fielder’s body and tracking between the inter-buttock cleft.  As the roll continued, the ball continued its inexorable path through Dicko’s legs emerging from these nether regions where, astonishingly, a hand appeared from nowhere to snatch (one suspects not entirely deliberately) the catch.  Cue sustained commiserations to the poor batsman.

Chris then bowled the rest of his excellent 9 overs (2-25) primarily to the two Wanborough players, who showed some proper application to the job at hand.  While one took some well-judged liberties, the other was mesmerised by flight and guile and eventually succumbed to a ‘stone-wall’ lbw.  Mini-chops was drafted into action, but suffered when dropping short, provoking sustained Lancastrian bleating to which the stand-in captain eventually gave in.  What happened next, you’ve read here on countless occasions before, as Mr Abattoir ruthlessly plundered the Wanborough lower order (6.3-2-13-4).  To alleviate our pain, young Will had a go from the other end and deservedly captured the opposition’s top scorer to an absolute blinder of a catch at mid-wicket by none other than Mr. Paul.  Wanborough’s innings closed at 98 all out from 40.3 overs, after an excellent effort in the field by the Marshfield side.

Following a copious and excellent tea, the surrogate skipper and a rapidly seizing-up Hussein opened our response.  In no time at all, 32 runs were on the board and all looked peachy, especially the sight of Hussein’s massive maximum into the long grass.  In even less time, however, both openers were out to poorly-judged shots, handing over to the conjuror and Callum Buckets.  The former was correct and circumspect, as was CB until he wasn’t and was out, perhaps not surprisingly swatting across the line… Bish was in next and looked solid and sensible up to the moment when the neural network crashed and a long hop was mishit to the waiting short-extra.  At 61-4, a classic TEBC[1] looked on the cards as Mini joined Daniel and a fair bit of agitation was evident in the Marshfield on-deck circle.  Fortunately, the coolest heads were out in the middle and, despite a couple of scares, they saw us home with no further mishaps.  Daniel even took us past the target by hitting a 4 when we were on 96 to secure the win and an extra batting point as well.

A most satisfying victory then due, in large part, to a fine bowling performance backed up by some more than competent fielding (special mention to Commander Roper who let no byes go by).  Champagne moments were all over the place, so take your pick: Dicko’s “catch” (sic), Daniel’s ball of the season (sorry, Hodds, but this one did something and at pace), Daniel’s catch (really).  MoM to Paul Daniel, you know, the Irish guy who can’t even tell you his name right.

[1] Third Eleven Batting Collapse

 Richard Guy

Some Match Action of our batting, click on a thumbnail for a larger image:

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